“I just need to stop trying, that’s what has been preventing me from shifting. I just need to stop trying.” Her enthusiasm equaled a person experiencing enlightenment, transcendence, or an a-ha moment on steroids.

Tide was high and I stumbled getting into the water. It felt like a test, telling me I should quit now. I looked ridiculous getting into the water, stumbling on hidden rocks under the water. Once beyond the shore break I paddled to the left. As I approached two surfers I announced my ineptness. Then I heard, “Terra, is that you?”

There is no other word that so concisely describes what living three decades with diabetes has gifted me. It has been a process each of those thirty years, and I've had a tremendous time. 

Twenty-nine years living with diabetes. My essence continues to breathe, and for that, I sit every day in appreciation.

Both my blood sugar and my weight are just numbers.

I think it reminds me of running through the forest as a kid, perhaps riding motorcycles through the trees by the family's lake cabin or even the dune buggy rides along the country roads. Whatever the reason, I adore running on dirt. In the PNW, where I grew up, the pine needles would heat up, and the smell is unique but unmistakable in the summer.

Twenty-six years of living with diabetes. It is a distinct sound, hollow and bold, that a sea kayak makes when it arrives at the shore on the rounded rocks. I pull my neoprene spray skirt by the loophole and exit.

All night long, it rained. All night long, it rained. All night long, it rained.

There are benefits and drawbacks to following a ketogenic way of eating, and since 2014, this area of weight loss and nutrition has received as much praise as it has criticism. People swear by it, and people swear at you for thinking it is a good idea. This back and forth exists as much in the realm of diabetes as it doesn't outside of it. 

On our final few miles to half-way, I no longer wanted to continue in our ascent to the north rim. I ran with Gina and Karen that day, and I didn't want to keep holding them back. They already had to stop for more blood sugar checks than was kind. I told them to keep going without me.