At this point, my thoughts, they become the obstacle.Faith drapes over me like a warm blanket with just enough weight to remind me, I’m safe, I’m here. Exhale.

Fear comes into play, the more attached we become, the more we have to lose. We begin to operate under illusions of certainty in our relationship (arrogant really) to feel more comfortable, more secure. We can thank COVID for getting each of us more familiar with illusions of certainty and the truths that were exposed when those curtains were pulled.

I walked back to my car as my besties continued on, under my breath I caught myself saying “fucking diabetes”. It didn’t last long, I don’t do self-pity diabetes really and as I looked at the sunrise and reflected on my life I quickly felt the opportunity in a few minutes solo walking along the beach path.

I miss moments with friends. I miss hugging. I miss gathering.I miss filling my adventure calendar out to 2022.I miss flying.I miss my kids when they are with their Dad.I miss dinner with ambiance after sunset.I miss...

If I could have, I would have made a deal with the devil that day. I’d take more erratic bloods sugars, more disrupted nights of sleep due to raising little ones, more pain in anyway if somehow he could be protected. I’d sell my soul to keep pain away from him.

This morning the waves were rowdy. I stood for a long while in my bikini as the wind and rain pelted my exposed skin. There were others watching the sunrise, they were bundled in layers with hats, hoods and gloves. I looked odd, I’m used to that.

I enjoy ice climbing.

When I was diagnosed at 17 with diabetes I was told I’d never have kids. Today I am a fierce-loving mother to two teens who consume all my heart.

99 years after the first insulin injection we are a country where the majority of people living in the USA and most developed countries do not have optimized insulin function, diabetes or not.

Chaos gives appreciation to the simple. Inhale gives appreciation to the exhale. Struggle gives appreciation to the flow.